We all have at least one of those “friends” on Facebook or other social media who seems to feel the need to express his or her opinions in ways that are not only insensitive to the opinions of others, but often downright disrespectful. And making the decision to “unfriend” can create stress because it can actually feel confrontational, and there is the fear of what that person will think or feel if/when they notice. It can also create stress to have to realize that a person we thought was reasonable is not. At what point do we choose to end our association with that person?

Recently, I encountered such a situation and finally had to make the decision to unfriend. I did not unfriend because this person’s views differed from mine. I welcome views, comments, or posts that force me to think about an issue differently than I did before. I also enjoy debating issues in thoughtful and respectful ways. I don’t believe anyone has all the right ideas and I do believe we can and should learn from each other.  I unfriended him because he consistently showed a complete disrespect for the fact that others hold views different from his own. I unfriended him because he tried to bully rather than persuade through thoughtful discussion. I unfriended him because he made no attempt to see any sides to an argument other than his own.

In this day and age, the decision to unfriend is usually not made lightly. We are living in one of the most divisive times we have ever known, and many of our friends may feel differently than we do about specific issues. This makes the willingness to disagree and debate in thoughtful and respectful ways more important now than it has ever been. I made the decision to unfriend because I could no longer tolerate intolerance, I could not ignore ignorance, and rational discussion cannot break through the walls of irrational arrogance.

So, if you have been tolerating offensive posts or comments because unfriending felt too harsh, or beating your head against a wall by trying to combat irrational people with rational arguments, I’d encourage you to ask yourself why you haven’t hit the unfriend button yet.  I’d encourage you to liberate yourself from their lack of mental health, in order to preserve your own. From someone who finally made the decision, I must say it’s quite a relief.