Like water

I often tell parents that I believe children are like water. Water will extend to the outer edges of whatever container into which it is poured. Water needs firm boundaries, and without it, it becomes an uncontrolled mess. Often, parents believe they are doing their child a favor by allowing the bending of, or the inconsistent enforcement of the rules in place in the home. What many parents don’t understand is that they are actually creating an uncertain world for the child. This will lead to the child pushing boundaries and not following rules. Kids, like water, will push to the absolute edge of what is allowed, but it is up to the parent whether that child continues to push past that point. Also, uncertainty and lack of consistency can create an anxious child who is unsure where his boundaries lie within his world. Kids need boundaries and consistency in order to feel safe.