Wolf in sheep’s clothing:
It’s amazing to me how often people enter a relationship thinking a person is one way, but realize later that they are actually quite different than originally thought. I believe it’s a combination of the ability to deceive others and the ability to deceive oneself. Just like a good actor in your favorite movie, some people are really good at pretending to be someone they are not. They know how to deflect direct questions and behave in flattering and charming ways, at least for a short period of time. And then, inevitably, once they believe they have cemented their place in your life, their dysfunction begins to show. Self-deception comes into play when a person sees indicators of a person’s dysfunction, but either chooses to ignore them or to pretend they are glitches rather than stable characteristics. “He yelled at me but he was just really stressed at work,” or “she lied but swears she’s been honest about everything else.” The lesson here is to trust your instincts but also not to ignore the facts. While we all must accept the fact that we can be fooled, there are ways to limit the damage done.